“How is she today?” 

The familiar voice floated through my disjointed thoughts, filling me with warmth. I can’t see him, but I can hear his footsteps as he enters the room, those heavy stomps of his big, leather boots echoing through my mind before they stopped right beside me. I hear him groan, the chair next to my bed creaking as he slowly sits down, and finally, a sigh as he settles himself. 

I let myself experience a moment of amusement. How old he must’ve gotten while I’ve been away. 

“Well, good morning there, love,” he says, and I hear him reach down to pull something from a bag he must’ve been carrying. “You know what day today is?” 

No. I don’t have a calendar in here, unfortunately. Why don’t you enlighten me, dear? 

“Today is our thirty-ninth anniversary.” 

Goodness, it’s been that long already? You must be sick of me. 

“You must be sick of me by now, huh?” 

My imagined smile wavers, but not for too long. For a second there, part of me really wanted to believe he could hear me. 

“So uh, I got you a gift. It’s nothing too exciting, so don’t get your hopes up.” 

Too late. My hopes are through the roof. 

“It’s actually more of an ongoing gift, really. I’m just using the celebration as a good excuse to start it.” 

Silly. You don’t need an excuse or a reason to give a gift, how many times did I tell you that? 

I hear sheets of paper rustle in his hands and realise he’s holding a book. 

“I’ve spent the last few years writing a journal of sorts. I wrote down all the things we’d be doing on each day if you were… still here.” 

I am still here, honey. 

“I suppose I’ll start with the day of, then? When the… The accident happened. Or in this case, didn’t happen.” He gives a slight, melancholic chuckle, and I hear him flip a page. “Twenty-second of June, two thousand twenty-five. Sadie and I decided to head down to the markets today. She’s been wanting to go for months now, and I’ve decided that I might as well get her to quit yammering about them.” 

I’ll let you live out the rest of your life believing that I’d have stopped talking about wanting to go to the markets after we went once. It’s the least I can do. Happy anniversary, I guess? 

“We walked around for some time, and I’ve gotta say, it wasn’t the most exciting experience. Sadie enjoyed herself, though, so it was well worth it.” 

What a sweetie. 

He turns the page. 

“She bought a couple useless things we’ll never use, and we went home. A drunk driver barely…” he started choking up, but steeled himself, forcing himself to continue. “Barely missed us and collided with a tree. It was a shock to us both, but I’m just glad we b-both emerged unscathed. I’m sorry,” he stuttered, a sob escaping his lips. I could hear him trying to muffle the sounds. 

I wish I could comfort him. I wish I could tell him that he doesn’t need to relive that day again just to make me happy. 

“We both arrived home, and spent the rest of the day together, watching those old Disney movies you loved.” 

Love, you mean.  

“Love, I meant,” he corrects himself. “Love.” 

He closes the book and sits there in silence for a little while. 

“Sadie,” he finally says, his voice a little louder. He must have come closer to me. “I miss you.” 

I miss you too. 

“I’m going to keep coming to see you every day, and every day, I’ll read you the next entry in the journal. I’m going to keep doing it until you finally wake up.” 

You’d better. I want to hear about all the things we did together, big or small. 

“I love you more than anything in the world.” 

I love you too, Charles. 

I’ll wake up for you. 

I promise.