Nobody knows why, when we take a photo, we tell the subject of that photo to “say cheese!” 

It’s one of the many great mysteries of the modern age. It’s up there along with the construction of Stonehenge and the Riemann hypothesis. 

But what if I told you I discovered the truth? 

Let me take you back to the year 1862. The photography camera had been around for a few decades, and a few different people had taken a crack at making it better over the years. Most people back then didn’t smile during their photos. People today say that it’s because it took so long for the camera to capture the photo that it became painful to smile the entire way through. 

That’s only partially true. 

See, when the photography camera was first introduced into western society, people who had their photos taken displayed a trend of behaving strangely afterwards. Loud, boisterous folk would become quiet and reserved. Quiet and reserved people would become practically catatonic. However, it only happened if the person was smiling. 

Word quickly spread, and soon enough, nobody wanted to smile during their photos. Some people blamed it on some sort of chemical entering the body through the mouth when the photo is taken. Others blamed demons or other supernatural creatures. 

One man discovered the truth, after sifting through old photographs he had taken, trying to figure out what was happening to these people. Something was off with the photos, but it wasn’t until he tossed one into a fire that he realised what it was. 

The smiling people in the photo began to weep. Their expressions changed and fluid spilled from the film itself, spitting and cracking on the burning wood below. He watched in fascinated horror, realising what was happening. 

Those photos weren’t just capturing likenesses. 

They captured souls. 

You’d think that with this information, one would trash his camera for good and implore others to do the same. 

But he didn’t. 

He sold the rest of those photos. At first, the buyers didn’t believe they were purchasing human souls. That is, until they were shown a demonstration involving an open fire. 

Within three weeks, he had made thousands. Enough to provide for himself for a lifetime. 

He wanted more. 

He tried to devise ways to force people to smile for their photos. He tried cracking jokes just before the picture, which lost him a few too many customers, claiming that he was trying to lobotomise them with the camera. He tried ‘accidentally’ tripping as he took the photo, hoping for a laugh. That earned him a few valuable photos, but nowhere near as much as he wanted. Nothing he did was consistent. 

One evening, during a dinner with some of his patrons, he noticed something interesting when the man next to him ordered a platter of cheeses. For a split second, it looked as if he had smiled without meaning to. 

He asked him to say it again. He was fascinated. The “ch” made his mouth open, and the “ee” pulled his lips apart, before the final syllable closed it again. 

He experimented. The next photo he took, he asked the couple to say the word “cheese.” They were confused, but he assured them it would turn out fantastic for the photo. 

They obliged. 

The photo was perfect. Captured at the exact moment the smiles had fully emerged on their faces. 

He continued doing it, telling nobody about his secret. Now that his photos were the only ones taking souls, almost nobody took notice. And if they did? 

Well, they were clearly mad. 

Eventually, after a long and wealthy life, the man passed on. 

But not before he shared his secret with a select few of his friends. 

As time went on, people became more and more passive. They silently accepted things the way they were, listened blindly to figures of authority, and started to plod through life with no sense of direction or ambition. Aimless. 

All because they ‘said cheese.’